Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The Note


It was a warm afternoon and I had just gotten out of school. I was in my in my favorite tree hiding from the other students go home when I saw a strange object sticking out of the ground by the trunk of the tree. I thought to myself  "How did I not see that when I was climbing up?" So I climbed back down and pulled it, it wouldn't budge so I started to dig around it. Eventually I uprooted the thing to the point to where it started to come out, but it was as stuck as a car with a flat tire. After a few minutes of using my brute strength I finally got it out of the ground, it was a dirty old piece of paper, at first I was bummed out because I thought it was going to be something valuable but you know my I have the best bad luck in the world. I looked at the      no-good old piece of paper and realized that it had a wax stamp on it, I opened it and saw writing, I didn't get too excited though but then I looked closer at the note and it said "Dear reader, if you're reading this then you need to dig below and grab the chest and run for your life, they will come if you broke the wax seal, run NOW!!! They will hunt you down and kill you!" I looked away from the paper and looked down the hole I just dug and and started digging and my hand hit something hard I reached down and grabbed whatever it was and pulled it out, it was a small treasure chest just like out of a pirate movie. After I pulled it out I opened the chest and there was a glowing ring, I grabbed it and put it on and looked around and noticed that I could see a little more details in the landscape. I turned around thats when I saw it. Right there about one hundred yards away from me there was a huge beast with a weird creature riding it, the beast had the head of a boar and the body of a panther, the rider was a different story it had the head of a human but it had the body of some kind of arachnid. I turned around and started running for my life! I started running and I realized that I was running a little faster than I thought I could run. I turned the corner that led to my house I stopped instantly, there were five more of the weird beasts and riders. I turned around and started running and I got a weird feeling in my gut, then all the sudden I got a weird tingling sensation. I looked down and realised that my feet weren't touching the ground, and I was still rising. Then I realised that I didn't know how to go down. Then I started to go up faster, after about 30 seconds I could barely see the beasts, and believe me, they were huge. Then out of nowhere I started to fall.(There will be more on next months post)

This is the beginning of a bigger story, I will have more for the story on next months post... 

3 comments:

  1. There may be a few errors, but otherwise I hope you enjoy the story. (theres a cliffhanger ending)

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  2. Good job Ethan! Nice cliff-hanger ending:) I like the creativity and description. To take it up a notch, think like a reader. What do you need to add to get a picture in your mind as you are reading? Add some more details with the description. For example, the creepy beast: what color, what did the hair look, what did it's eyes remind you of? Use similes or metaphors to help and add specific descriptions to put a solid picture in your reader's mind. Excellent writing!

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  3. You did a great job on this Ethan, and believe me you were right about the cliffhanger ending. But I loved how you had me filled with suspense the entire time, I wanted to know what would happen next. Otherwise it is okay except for the few spelling errors that I found while reading through it, you should spend some time looking for those before you publish your next writing.

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