Justin had never intended to get all mixed up in this adventure, but he had no regrets. He had enjoyed every second of it and would never forget it for years to come. The castle that he and his friends had spent so many months attempting to get to loomed in front of him like a massive volcano. It was made of broken, pitch black rock that reflected the light from the bright sun above.
Sentil stood next to him, quietly discussing with Brian and Yilder how they were going to get inside and what they would do once they finally managed to get in. Justin was listening to what he said, but he didn't hear any of it. He was too busy thinking of everything that had happened so far and the simple thing that led him up to this point, and it was all his sister's fault.
Well, technically it was Justin's fault as it had been his choice to climb down into the cave in the first place, but Gwen had been the one who had dared him to do it. Justin had lived a simple life before he had come to the land of Doflin. He was a newspaper boy, one of those teens that you see riding a bike and throwing out papers, and he hated it, but it was the only job he could get being 15 and not yet having his drivers license. Gwen had always teased him about how boring his job was and how she would be driving a limo by the time she was 20.
Justin was always annoyed by how Sally always took advantage of her inborn smarts. She was one of those miracle kids that you sometimes hear about. She was only 11 but was already in the 11th grade, and that was one grade higher than him! Anyway, she wasn't one of those nice ones that are amazed with themselves with what they've done, she was always bragging about how she was so much better than everyone else and all of the accomplishments that she already had, and it drove him nuts whenever she did it!
Anyway, she was just annoying, but all of the strange things he had seen while in Doflin would easily shut her up when he got home. However, he had been told that he should never tell anyone about what he had seen, so that would probably never happen.
Justin had always been a normal kid who lived at the end of Covey lane in a city he had never cared to learn the name of ( I know, lame). Of all the houses they had lived in being one, and them never having had a lot of money, they had never had a backyard. All they had ever known was a deep cave that went down about 10 yards until i branched off into some other area of it. Both Justin and Gwen had always wanted to go exploring down in the dark chasm, but their parents had never allowed it saying that the cave was unstable and that the rock might come falling down at any moment. Which was obviously true since little parts of rock fell off the edge whenever they stomped their feet around the edges.
One night Justin had finally had enough of his parents excuses for the cave being dangerous, it had been there for 15 years for crying out loud and if it hadn't fallen down yet, then it never would. Anyway, Justin was going to go down into that dark chasm no matter what his parents said, and he finally had the courage to do it. He set his watch alarm to 11:30 and went to sleep, knowing that the next time he got up, he would be going down into the cave where no one had been before.
Justin's alarm when off right on time and he quietly got out of his bed and down the hall. He had slept in his clothes and snuck a flashlight into his room so that he wouldn't get caught scrambling through the drawers at midnight before he could even leave for the cave. As soon as Justin got downstair he silently snuck out the back door and slowly walked towards where he knew the edge of the cave was. He silently knew that he had always wanted to do this but had never had the courage.
Once he reached a point where he couldn't walk any farther without his light, he switched it on, and what he saw before him almost made him scream and run right back to the house.
Part two of The Doflin Chronicles coming next month.
Well, technically it was Justin's fault as it had been his choice to climb down into the cave in the first place, but Gwen had been the one who had dared him to do it. Justin had lived a simple life before he had come to the land of Doflin. He was a newspaper boy, one of those teens that you see riding a bike and throwing out papers, and he hated it, but it was the only job he could get being 15 and not yet having his drivers license. Gwen had always teased him about how boring his job was and how she would be driving a limo by the time she was 20.
Justin was always annoyed by how Sally always took advantage of her inborn smarts. She was one of those miracle kids that you sometimes hear about. She was only 11 but was already in the 11th grade, and that was one grade higher than him! Anyway, she wasn't one of those nice ones that are amazed with themselves with what they've done, she was always bragging about how she was so much better than everyone else and all of the accomplishments that she already had, and it drove him nuts whenever she did it!
Anyway, she was just annoying, but all of the strange things he had seen while in Doflin would easily shut her up when he got home. However, he had been told that he should never tell anyone about what he had seen, so that would probably never happen.
Justin had always been a normal kid who lived at the end of Covey lane in a city he had never cared to learn the name of ( I know, lame). Of all the houses they had lived in being one, and them never having had a lot of money, they had never had a backyard. All they had ever known was a deep cave that went down about 10 yards until i branched off into some other area of it. Both Justin and Gwen had always wanted to go exploring down in the dark chasm, but their parents had never allowed it saying that the cave was unstable and that the rock might come falling down at any moment. Which was obviously true since little parts of rock fell off the edge whenever they stomped their feet around the edges.
One night Justin had finally had enough of his parents excuses for the cave being dangerous, it had been there for 15 years for crying out loud and if it hadn't fallen down yet, then it never would. Anyway, Justin was going to go down into that dark chasm no matter what his parents said, and he finally had the courage to do it. He set his watch alarm to 11:30 and went to sleep, knowing that the next time he got up, he would be going down into the cave where no one had been before.
Justin's alarm when off right on time and he quietly got out of his bed and down the hall. He had slept in his clothes and snuck a flashlight into his room so that he wouldn't get caught scrambling through the drawers at midnight before he could even leave for the cave. As soon as Justin got downstair he silently snuck out the back door and slowly walked towards where he knew the edge of the cave was. He silently knew that he had always wanted to do this but had never had the courage.
Once he reached a point where he couldn't walk any farther without his light, he switched it on, and what he saw before him almost made him scream and run right back to the house.
Part two of The Doflin Chronicles coming next month.
I'm liking the Doflin Chronicles and am looking forward to the next edition! Great plot and character development. As you revise, add some dialogue and more description. Really great work Seth! I totally enjoyed it:)
ReplyDeleteI liked that his sister was 11, but a grade ahead of Justin. But I did get confused by how many characters there were, and if you described them better that make it a lot better. I also liked the plot, and I can't wait to see where this is going.
ReplyDelete