The Lauren Contest
How has Lauren’s life changed?
How has she coped with the challenges
she has faced?
Lauren’s life has changed due to many things. First of all,
Lauren has become an emotionally and a somewhat physically stronger person. She
is now able to do things that cancer wouldn't allow her to do. Next, Lauren has been able to share her courageous story of dealing with cancer with many people. She has personally inspired
me by her amazing story and I believe that she has inspired others as well. Without her
determination and willingness to constantly stay strong throughout her battle with cancer
she may not have survived. Lauren has coped with her illness in a very positive and optimistic way. For example, in the article it tells how she filled jars in her hospital
room with shiny smooth blue and red pebbles depending on how her day was. At the end of the
story it shows that there were more red pebbles than blue, showing that she had
had more good days than bad. Lauren is a great example on how to cope with hard
things in a positive way.
Your contest entry is looking great! What would it look like if you added some adjectives to add more depth and color to your words? You did a fantastic job with the details and capturing her courageous spirit. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThank you I'll do just that.
ReplyDeleteNice job Sophie!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mrs. Robins, maybe try to paint a picture in the readers' mind. I like how you found evidence and examples from the article to support your story. You also did a great job with the details. Great job!!
This is great and very detailed. I like how you used a lot of details and put them into a short story. One thing I would acknowledge you to do is to put more adjectives in it to help the reader picture it a little better!!! Over all I think you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat job Sophie! You really explained how Lauren became stronger. I also loved how you mentioned the jars that she filled. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteWow Sophie! You have writer talents in you! I was really amazed at your work. I really liked it but what would happen if you added more adjectives and more descriptive? It would be fantastic that's what! Keep up your FANTASTIC work!!
ReplyDelete-Rebekah
Great Job! You are very good at taking a big subject and fitting it into just one paragraph. Work on putting a little bit more adjectives in your writing. Besides that, fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteSo I tried to edit a little bit but if I need more adjectives your welcome to comment.
ReplyDelete