A Year With Cancer
When Lauren Bendesky was 15 years old, she was fighting for her life. She had an intense case of cancer called neuroblastoma. She was facing many challenges such as extreme weight loss, horrible nausea and blisters in her mouth and throat. There were days when she was so sick, she had to be fed through and IV. She has had many challenges but has coped through them. One way that has helped her is the jars on the windowsill. There are two jars, one with pink stones and one with blue. Every good day she put in one pink stone, every bad day she put in one blue. This helped her to stay positive and feel good when there were more pink stones. Another way that had helped is all the love and support from family. She has gone through so much but her family and friends keep her spirits up. A lot of these challenges have changed her life in many ways. She was a healthy, happy teenager and a competitive dancer. She was also a gifted student who loved playing the viola. When she discovered her cancer, her world stopped and was completely changed. She was going to be spending a lot of time in the hospital with doctors and machines everywhere and wouldn't be able to do the things she loved as often. This was not very fun for her, but she stayed strong. She has had a rough year with cancer but is getting better. She is a very loved girl who is amazing, brave, and courageous.
It was a really good article, and there was not many things wrong with it. The only thing I can think of was if you could describe a little bit more. That would turn you story from great to amazing.
ReplyDeleteReally strong start Hallie--I like how you did such a good job with telling about what Lauren went through and I like that you use her last name. I'd suggest adding more to the end about how overcoming cancer helped her do some pretty amazing things as a teen. Great work--keep it up!
ReplyDeleteI loved that story a lot and you explained it very well. I agree with Mrs. Robbins, adding a more descriptive ending with telling us what happened to her and what she did using her cancer as a strength. Really good though hal. You are a great writer and a caring person.
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