Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Reversed protection

I saw a dark shadow following me it looked sad, lonely, yet mysterious. I didn't know what to think of him, or was it a her? I just started running, that's all I ever want to do. I looked behind me and, beep, beep, beep, it was only a dream. I dreaded the thought of waking up and going to another day of school. I slipped into some skinny jeans, a t-shirt and some red and white converse. Then I hurried down stairs to make myself some Strawberry Mini Wheat. Then I went around the corner into the hall that was connected to my bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror, I look like a wild animal was staying in my hair! My head was being yanked by all my snarls in my hair. I felt as if someone was trying to pull of all my hair. Finally I got my hair into semi good shape. I went back into the kitchen to look at the time and realized my bus came in five minutes! I ran into the bathroom to brush my teeth then yelled to my mom and dad, love you. Then scurried out the door. By the time I got on the bus I was panting for air. Hoping nobody would see my red cheeks and pounding chest. Hey Simone! I quickly turned around to see who it was and noticed it was just my friend Teddy. Her real name is Theodore because her family thought she was going to be a boy and didn't want to bother having to change it. I hurried and sat down before anyone could could notice me. Is my face still red? No she said without looking. Seriously! Fine, it's really not red. Okay thanks, I just sprinted all the way down here.

On the way to school I looked out the window wondering what I would be doing if it was still summer, but then my thoughts were cut of by a loud bang!someone had just shot a tire, then again another one was shot. Everybody was panicked and wondering what happened. I saw a shadow from the corner of my eye, it was the mysterious person in my dream. Then I saw him tumble to the ground being tazerd as I could now realized it was a man. Another bus came to get us but many parents came and got their children. We arrived at the middle school and proceeded with are lessons, when the school went on lock down. Everyone was saying they were never coming to school again and everyone was crying when the intercom came on and said it was a false alarm. We all went back to our business when a man walked into the room, he yelled where is Kenya! Kenya was my best friend and would do anything for me so I stood up and said, right here sir. What did I just do I thought. I was so stupid and careless. I was literally bawling inside but only small tears came down my cheeks. My head felt like it was about to burst because I was holding back so much fear and anger. I was angry because they said that there was a false alarm but it wasn't and now I could die. Will I see my family again? As I thought of these things I didn't realize that the man was walking towards me. He grabbed me by the arm and yanked me across the room. I fought him trying to get loose when everything went dark. 

When I woke up my head was pounding and I was tied to a chair. The guy who took me must have knocked me out to keep me from struggling. When the man came into the room he looked mad. He slammed down a piece of paper in front of me. It said DNA for Simone Frankwell on the top of the paper. He explained to me that Kenya was now in big trouble and that he was there to take her to keep her safe.

To hear more wait next month for more of the story.
                                 

5 comments:

  1. I thought your story was great! there was a few spelling errors, and when it said, "I look like a wild animal was staying in my hair!" i think you should have used a little more detail but other than that, it was great!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was a really awesome story! I kept wondering what was going to happen. The only thing I would say is make sure to add quotation marks when characters speak, but other than that it was amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sufficiently creeped out! Great writing! Very exciting piece here. You have really good details and a strong plot. To take your writing to the next level: break up paragraphs more and remember to use quotes in dialogue. Take your favorite book and carefully study how the author shows people talking. You are a great writer and I'm looking forward to the next installment!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good job Sadie. It was very intersecting to me and I can't wait for the next post. There is only one errors I saw. Like Halli add quotation mark to your story, that way the reader know if the narrator or not. Beside that it was a great story.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks! I will be sure to do that next time!

    ReplyDelete