Reversed
protection
I
saw a dark shadow following me it looked sad, lonely, yet mysterious.
I didn't know what to think of him, or was it a her? I just started
running, that's all I ever want to do. I looked behind me and, beep,
beep, beep, it was only a dream. I dreaded the thought of waking up
and going to another day of school. I slipped into some skinny jeans,
a t-shirt and some red and white converse. Then I hurried down stairs
to make myself some Strawberry Mini Wheat. Then I went around the
corner into the hall that was connected to my bathroom. I look at
myself in the mirror, I look like a wild animal was staying in my
hair! My head was being yanked by all my snarls in my hair. I felt
as if someone was trying to pull of all my hair. Finally I got my
hair into semi good shape. I went back into the kitchen to look at
the time and realized my bus came in five minutes! I ran into the
bathroom to brush my teeth then yelled to my mom and dad, love you.
Then scurried out the door. By the time I got on the bus I was
panting for air. Hoping nobody would see my red cheeks and pounding
chest. Hey Simone! I quickly turned around to see who it was and
noticed it was just my friend Teddy. Her real name is Theodore
because her family thought she was going to be a boy and didn't want
to bother having to change it. I hurried and sat down before anyone
could could notice me. Is my face still red? No she said without
looking. Seriously! Fine, it's really not red. Okay thanks, I just
sprinted all the way down here.
On the way to school I looked out the window wondering what I would
be doing if it was still summer, but then my thoughts were cut of by
a loud bang!someone had just shot a tire, then again another one was
shot. Everybody was panicked and wondering what happened. I saw a
shadow from the corner of my eye, it was the mysterious person in my
dream. Then I saw him tumble to the ground being tazerd as I could
now realized it was a man. Another bus came to get us but many
parents came and got their children. We arrived at the middle school
and proceeded with are lessons, when the school went on lock down.
Everyone was saying they were never coming to school again and
everyone was crying when the intercom came on and said it was a false
alarm. We all went back to our business when a man walked into the
room, he yelled where is Kenya! Kenya was my best friend and would do
anything for me so I stood up and said, right here sir. What did I
just do I thought. I was so stupid and careless. I was literally
bawling inside but only small tears came down my cheeks. My head felt
like it was about to burst because I was holding back so much fear
and anger. I was angry because they said that there was a false alarm
but it wasn't and now I could die. Will I see my family again? As I
thought of these things I didn't realize that the man was walking
towards me. He grabbed me by the arm and yanked me across the room. I
fought him trying to get loose when everything went dark.
When I woke
up my head was pounding and I was tied to a chair. The guy who took
me must have knocked me out to keep me from struggling. When the man
came into the room he looked mad. He slammed down a piece of paper in
front of me. It said DNA for Simone Frankwell on the top of the
paper. He explained to me that Kenya was now in big trouble and that
he was there to take her to keep her safe.
To
hear more wait next month for more of the story.
I thought your story was great! there was a few spelling errors, and when it said, "I look like a wild animal was staying in my hair!" i think you should have used a little more detail but other than that, it was great!
ReplyDeleteThat was a really awesome story! I kept wondering what was going to happen. The only thing I would say is make sure to add quotation marks when characters speak, but other than that it was amazing!
ReplyDeleteI'm sufficiently creeped out! Great writing! Very exciting piece here. You have really good details and a strong plot. To take your writing to the next level: break up paragraphs more and remember to use quotes in dialogue. Take your favorite book and carefully study how the author shows people talking. You are a great writer and I'm looking forward to the next installment!
ReplyDeleteGood job Sadie. It was very intersecting to me and I can't wait for the next post. There is only one errors I saw. Like Halli add quotation mark to your story, that way the reader know if the narrator or not. Beside that it was a great story.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I will be sure to do that next time!
ReplyDelete