Thursday, September 18, 2014

Lauren Contest


A Challenge Worth Overcoming

       

                Have you ever had to cope with something? If so it might have been moving, having a new family member, changing to a different school, or many other changes in life. You're not the only person who has had to make a change. A teenaged girl named Lauren had to cope with something much more difficult. She learned she would have to deal with cancer. Her life had changed forever.
                It started out like any other day until she came home from school and her mom saw something strange. They went to the hospital, and Lauren found out she that she had cancer. Lauren had many challenges that she had to face in the future. She would need to cope with cancer and get used to having a new life.
                Challenges are known to be hard things. When you have caner you are challenged in many ways, like dealing with the pain and having to lose your hair. Lauren was strong and didn't let the challenges get in her way. In Scholastic Scope Magazine it says Lauren put res pebbles in a jar for the says that were tougher than the others, and she put blue pebbles in the jar for the days that were marvelous. In the end she had lots more blue pebbles than red ones. This shows Lauren had coped with the challenges of cancer.
               Dealing with cancer means a new life and a new way of living. Lauren wouldn't be able to go to school and do the things she had loved to do. Instead of having fun and laughing with her friends she would be in a hospital bed fighting for her life. Kristin Kewis writes,"Dealing with cancer isn't just about battling to survive. It's also about learning to cope with a whole new life." That's just what Lauren did. Fortunately, she won the hardest battle of her life and the cancer was gone. However, even though the cancer was gone, her challenge had changed her life forever. Lauren had become stronger, she found out she could do anything.....even if it was hard.

6 comments:

  1. Great job Sierra!!
    You had lots of good information and evidence from the story. I especially liked the last paragraph, it had lots of good information and was interesting to read. Maybe you could be a little bit more descriptive in the 2nd paragraph. Keep up the great work! :)

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  2. Wow! Sierra, you blew me off my feet! Like Audrey said, what would happen if you were more descriptive in the second paragraph? The last paragraph really wrapped it all up. It was very descriptive and I know that you will be a very good writter!
    -Rebekah

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  4. Also Sierra, you might want to check the spelling error in the third paragraph.

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  5. I thought you did a good job of involving your audience right away. I think it was smart to start with a question that gets people thinking and makes it relatable. There were a few minor spelling errors but besides that, I think you conveyed your ideas while doing a good job of summarizing what you knew about Lauren. It was very clear and easy to read.

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  6. Great contest entry! As you revise, read the piece out loud to yourself, your ears will catch errors (there are just a few) that your eyes skip over. I agree with the comments above to increase description. You did a great job--keep up the good writing:)

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