The Lauren Contest
How has she coped with the challenges she has faced?
Lauren, a healthy teenager who loved to dance, was surprised, as many are, when doctors found a 15-pound lump of neuroblastoma in her stomach. She had to learn to cope with challenges and also with a new life style. Lauren has coped with the challenges that she has had to face, by looking towards the future, being hopeful, and also keeping track of her days in rock jars. Lauren seemed that she was always looking forward and trying to be positive. Even though some days she was in so much pain that she couldn’t even eat, she maintained a positive attitude towards life and cancer. Rock jars was something that helped Lauren remain positive. She would put a pink rock for the good days and a blue rock for the bad days. Lauren wanted to have more jars filled with pink rocks, than with blue. She said that it helped her see how her journey was going. I think another way that Lauren coped with challenges and a new life by staying positive and looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. A few ways she stayed positive was finding out about her disease, neuroblastoma. She also took online classes to keep up with school, since it was nearly impossible that she attended. She also had lots of support from her family. Lauren was always looking forward when her mom, step-dad and brother visited her. Lauren endured her many challenges through her rock jars and being hopeful. Her life changed in many ways physically and mentally. Through her experience, she was able to become stronger. She was very strong physically, but also mentally. To be able to keep that kind of attitude is truly amazing. Lauren is a perfect example on how we can cope with challenges.
That was amazing. You are a very good writer. You used words that described things very well. I like how at the end you put "Lauren is a perfect example on how we can cope with challenges" and I couldn't agree with you more. Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteThanks Gia!!
DeleteI love the wording you used and how you described that. GREAT JOB!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lucy!!
DeleteThat was awesome how you described Lauren right at the beginning. It was almost like I was sucked into Laurens world you described it so well! I loved that you went and described how she used the stones. It was great, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteThanks Skylar!
DeleteExcellent contest entry--I'd say this is about ready to send. For revision, talk a little more about how she used the stones--more about what the represented. You did a great job of blending fact with some narrative description. Well done!
ReplyDeletesweet job! i loved how you introduced her right off the bat, but I think that you should add more details about the rocks in the jars because some people might not know what that means
ReplyDelete'Kay. Thanks Luke! :)
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ReplyDeleteYou did a fantastic job! You could write for the newspaper or something. Keep up the great work. I agree with luke, introducing her right away made me want to read more because I knew who she was. Nice descriptive words too! Maybe put in a little about what she did with her cancer, like did she help anyone else who had cancer. But really good job all around!
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