Remembering 9/11
By Luke Bryan
Sometimes I sit alone,
not knowing what to think,
but come to the conclusion
of a horrible intrusion
The day was not long ago,
when the world started to slow
and heard the sickening news
of America's great blues
Thousands of us had died,
and twice that many cried,
when we heard the sickening news
of Americas great blues
We still hold them in our hearts
and we miss there loving parts
but we will still remember
the grief of that September
I love it so much! This was so creative and I love the message that it gives. I wouldn't change anything about it. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteI think that you are awesome at writing poems. I really like the vocabulary that you rhymed with. I liked the first two lines in the 3rd paragraph the most because the are very thoughtful and true put also very sad. I wouldn't change anything in it. I think that it is perfect!
ReplyDeleteWow, this is a really good poem. I loved the last paragraph, I liked how it really touched your heart. It is so true and heart touching! I wouldn't change anything! It is really good! Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest, I'm not a huge fan of rhyming poem because sometimes they seem a little Dr. Suess to me. However, your rhyming works well here! You used such strong words like "conclusion", "intrusion" and "grief". You also used beautiful slant rhymes (remind me to tell you what that is). I'm really pleased with your work. As far as advice, maybe add some "color" words throughout the piece to give your reader more of a picture. Well done!
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