Don't Eat Me I'm A Lemon
Part 1
Mr. Eraser was still in the old monopoly box from "the time of the faucets" as people called it. In 4200 a man named Mr. Dude saved the Earth from the faucet company. Mr. Eraser was Mr. Dude's partner in the journey to center of the Earth. It was the year 23065 now, and things have changed. The candy wrappers that fell out from the sky after reaching absolute zero were actually a bunch of space cash that was apparently worth 'tree fitty' ($3.50) each. By then most of the world realized that Mr. Dude was actually the Loch Ness Monster. The conspiracy that Pluto was a dwarf planet was proven false, and that it was actually huge and the center of the solar system. The Earth had only one moon now do to the harsh weather in northern Europe. the 17 other moons went to the Andromeda Galaxy on the planet Pertater. Starve Jobberman officially made the Applez company the best zPhonez company on the entire sun. But biggest of all, faucets were now exactly 67*17*12*3 times better than in the year 41004. Mr. Eraser, may be a monopoly 10 eraser bill, but he still had more fun than the average American, well, mostly because they were all dead. Mr. Eraser had been waiting 300 years to be let out of his box because he didn't really feel like to get out himself, but somewhere within 3 years, things are about to change.
Mr. Eraser started reading "Don't Eat Me I'm A Lemon" when he heard a weird noise. Years before the monopoly box he was in was moved a couple pillows to the left because Canada was the only country in the world. The change in position made the monopoly box very unnoticed. He rarely hears anything other than the constant mewling of kittens, which is an awesome sound. The kittens there had no idea that there was anything inside the monopoly box, so they wouldn't be making the strange sound. No one goes inside the cup of beans anymore because the magic chair leg was thought to still be with Mr. Dude. Out of nowhere the box opened up and a Canadian cat with a pickle hat loomed over Mr. Eraser.
“Herro, my name is Mr. Kitty, and I just got done reading ‘Don’t Eat Me I’m A Lemon’ and it said I was supposed to come here at this time.”
“Canadian cats with pickle hats. That is cool.” Said Mr. Eraser. “Thanks for opening the box.”
“You know all you had to do was open the lid.”
“I didn’t feel like opening it. Also, how did you get the magic chair leg to get into the cup of beans.”
“You gave it to me.” meowed Mr. Kitty. “It’s a long story and this is where it starts.”
My mind is so full of "wat" right now.
ReplyDeleteBut it's still really good writing!
I only noticed one area when you wrote 3 instead of three. If the number is less than 10 or is the first word in the sentence, you would write it in word form. Other than that, I didn't notice anything wrong.
This is the January post by the way Mrs. Robbins.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of those stories that are so ridiculous that it makes sense. Big imagination though... I didn't really get the plot. Anyway, pretty cool yet weird... you know.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with Shadrack that this is super ridiculous but you understand it anyway. The random humor made me laugh a few times, but I did see a few grammar mistakes here and there. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with Shadrack that this is super ridiculous but you understand it anyway. The random humor made me laugh a few times, but I did see a few grammar mistakes here and there. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteSo... Confused. That was awesome, though! There were some grammar errors in the first paragraph.
ReplyDeleteSo... Confused. That was awesome, though! There were some grammar errors in the first paragraph.
ReplyDeleteMy brain just puked kittens. The absolute simplicity of it all was awesome! I did see a few grammar mistakes, and the plot could have been thought out more. Overall, it was really good. CONFUSION IS KEY!!!
ReplyDelete