The poem I read was "Cotton Candy" by Edward Hirsch. I loved how it was an old memory of him and his grandfather. He described the taste of the cotton candy and the short time he had on the bridge really well, and I pictured it in my mind vividly.
Wings
I often sit and wish...
I wish that I had wings.
They float you up towards heaven,
and help you do a million things.
You could soar,
you could fly.
You could reach
the thin, misty sky.
But most of of all,
you could feel the rush.
Wind is whipping,
and all you have is your feathers to trust.
Then stop and think,
do I really need these things?
My friends my family and love,
are all just like wings.
I love the description in this! I didn't catch any obvious errors. This poem is marvelous!
ReplyDeleteAmazing!! I loved it. You were very descriptive and I like your choice of words. I agree with Shayne, there's really no obvious mistake. Maybe to add length, you could add another thing you could do with wings. Nice job!! ;)
ReplyDeleteAspen! This was really good and descriptive! I don't see any errors so I don't know anything to say except maybe make it longer like Audrey said, but other than that, it was amazing! You're great at writing! Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteAmazing I LOVED it great job I didn't want it to end! Also you may want to add a little bit more about your family and friends, etc. at the end. Other than that great job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this. It was just great. I didn't catch any errors and I read through it a couple of times. But it was really amazing and you did an wonderful job...
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