Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Halli's April Post

I listened to Arthur Sze read "The Chance" and I really enjoyed it. I loved how it talked about having a passion that will always grow and taking your chances in life. In the poem, it talked about a musician who gave up on his dream and ended up selling life insurance, a policy that is based on you losing your life. I don't think anyone wants to do that. He mentions being like the bone in a hand x-ray; it is bright white surrounded by darkness. Even though we are always surrounded by darkness, we can still let our light shine.


My poem:


Waiting here is torture,
as I sit in this musty room.
My fingers do a nervous dance,
my name will be called soon.
My mind is completely blank,
except for the thought of pain.
My mom tells me it's nothing,
that really it's a gain.
Pointy things and needles,
leap across my vision.
I'm really very nervous.
Did I make the right decision?
You think this is a big deal,
when in reality it's not.
All I have to do,
Is get one tiny shot.




True story, I wrote this while I was waiting to get a shot. 

5 comments:

  1. I thought your poem was so good! I hated shots, until I got my 7th grade ones I realized it wasn't that bad. ;) I thought you could've used a little more description on how you thought the needle ended up feeling, but other than that it was great!

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  2. AMAZING!!! That poem is much better than all of the poems I ever write. I really like that you made each word at the end of every sentence rhyme. The only thing I can think of that you can do better next time, is give it a title. GREAT JOB!!!!!

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  3. That was a really good poem! The rhyming was great, the story was great. I like how you wrote about something that actually happened. I thought that the description was good, but you could have used more of it towards the end. Good job!

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  4. I really like this poem for two reasons: Number One, it rhymes which is really hard to do and number two, its really descriptive. I like how you explained your feelings and what was going through your head and all that. Really good.

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  5. Wow! Nice job Halli! I can totally imagine you in the waiting room... :) I liked how you made it rhyme, and made it sound good. A lot of people struggle with that, but you hit it right on. I agree with Baylee, maybe add what happened at the end. Other than that amazing job! You're a very talented writer!

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