Thursday, April 30, 2015

Kyler’s April Post:
I listened to “Cotton Candy” by Edward Hirsch. I liked how he made it sound like you were living inside the poem. He explained the walk that he took with his grandpa, and the cotton candy he ate while crossing the old, brown bridge.  It was very well written and thought out and it sounded like he actually cared to write about it.

Biking
From mountains to roads
I pass the little stream
The nature talks in code
Look how the water gleams

I grab a quick snack
wipe the sweat of my head
find the nearest track
look at the mountains, oh so red

I love to ride my bike
it makes me feel so happy
My sister has a little trike
it is kinda crappy

The feeling of the ride
the adrenaline rush you get
I’ve never been so alive

There is no stopping yet

7 comments:

  1. At a boy Kyler. That poem was really good. I didn't really see any problems in it and you described everything so great it put a perfect picture in my mind. I really liked the third stanza where it said your sisters trike is crappy. Keep up the great work.

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  2. Hahahaha. I love the part about your sister's tricycle. I love how I feel like I'm actually there! Your poem took me there! It's great! Maybe a little more details would add some difference but other than that it's great!

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  3. Great job! I also really liked the part about your sisters tricycle! I liked how it felt like I was there! One thing that I would maybe fix is maybe adding a little bit more detail! But other than that it was really good!

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  4. Great job! I also really liked the part about your sisters tricycle! I liked how it felt like I was there! One thing that I would maybe fix is maybe adding a little bit more detail! But other than that it was really good!

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  5. I like how creative you were with your poem! I liked how it felt like I was there! It is also good that you aren't rhyming in every sentence. Maybe if you thought of more descriptive things to say. Other than that it was great!

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  6. I like how creative you were with your poem! I liked how it felt like I was there! It is also good that you aren't rhyming in every sentence. Maybe if you thought of more descriptive things to say. Other than that it was great!

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  7. I really liked how you said that your sisters trycicle was crappy. The only thing i would add is more description.

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