March Post

(This is my very late March post...)

The Journal of a Girl Named Faith

     Xavier. That was his name. He was quiet, didn't talk much, only when it was absolutely necessary would he say a word. He seemed cold and isolated. Nobody tried to talk to him, that was the way he liked it. He put up his defenses and no one could ever knock them down. He was fine with how everything was, because if no one wanted to talk to him, no one wanted to talk to him. If no one wanted to try to become his friend, no one wanted to try. He was awkward anyway, made a fool of himself one to many he times. He wasn't always so, set apart, but he knows what it's like to make a friend, then lose the friend. People always seemed to leave. So he decided, if no one comes into his life, no one can go out of it. It was his defense. He hid emotions. There is only one thing that someone like Xavier needed. Someone to come tear down the walls.

     So, what will happen when someone decides to come and try and break down the walls? He might be relying on his defenses a little too much now, and if someone comes and breaks them down now, he could fall, shatter. Or, he could drop his cold, emotionless state and actually let someone in.

     But, now, I have come along. I'm just a girl. Faith. That's my name. I saw the broken boy and knew I wanted to help him. I had to help him. Knowing I had to take caution doing this, I slowly tried to gain his trust. Talking to him was an easy first step but all he seemed to do was push me away. I knew it would be difficult to break his walls down, but I also knew I couldn't give up on him now. Because behind his strong shell I saw a glimmer of hope. A chance. I knew how to get him to trust me. It was a simple solution, but it would be difficult. So, one day I saw him, walking, alone, to his class. Without thinking I blurted out one simple thing-

     "Xavier!" He turned to face me. Oh, great, what was I supposed to do now? I clearly didn't think this through very well. He tilted his head a little, as if trying ask me what I wanted without saying a word. Classic Xavier, never a word. "I.. was... um... wondering... if maybe you wanted to help me with the math homework. I don't think I quiet understand it." I smile, nice save me.

     He give me a confused look, I guess that makes sense though because usually I'm really good at math. I wasn't lying though, we were working on a subject I didn't really understand well and he was always the first one done with his worksheets and homework, so I assume he good at it. "I guess I can." He says, snapping my out of my thoughts.

     I smile, "That's great news. Thank you so much. I'll meet you in the library after school then?" I ask. So far, this plan was going great, and I was just coming up with it on the spot. All well,nothing can really go wrong, can it? He nods his head in agreement with my meeting place and scurries off to his next class. I bite my lip and the bell rings and groan. I was going to be late now, all well. I sigh and walk to me class. Setting my stuff down. I was actually pretty excited-

maybe well we're studying he'll open up a little more. I've never meet someone I couldn't make smile, and I'm pretty sure he's the only person in any of my classes I haven't seen smile. I was determined to become his friend and break him out of his shell, and when I'm determined it will happen. Well, that's all for now. So this is me saying goodnight... well I guess it's only about 1:30 p.m but... this is Faith saying goodbye. So...

     Goodbye writing journal, (I'll tell you all about how my plan works out next time.) Adios.