Just one moment
Was all it took
One moment later
My world shook
For she was gone
And would never be back
She had fallen to the ground
And had hit with a smack
She's buried now
Deep underground
Inside our house will never be the same
There will be no sound
There is no laughing
No movement, no sound
Our house feels so empty
It makes us feel down
For it took only a moment
And my life had turned
For she was gone now
And my heart was burned.
I actually laughed part-way through writing this thing I guess that might give you a clue that I'm a serial kil-eater! I'm a cereal eater! Anyway, I kinda made it up as I went along and I guess that's why it's both depressing, sad, and a wee bit creepy. Yeah... don't just me please.
Great job! It's funny how you laughed at such a sad poem. I liked the rhyming in it. By the way, do you mean "judge" instead of "just?"
ReplyDeleteGreat job sam i loved how it sounded and how you laughed at the end of it. If you gave this some music it could be a really cool song. I would just add some more detailed words or make it fit together a little bit more.
ReplyDeleteI loved the rhyming in it! This poem is one of the best I have read. It is sad but the end part just made it better. I wouldn't change anything. Nice job!
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