Music
I come home from school, feeling very sad.
My parents aren't home, I'm disappointed.
The score on my test, was very bad.
I have tons of homework, I get overwhelmed.
My sister yells at me, I get very mad.
I go in my room and lay down.
I listen to music, and my problems disappear.
This poem is about how music takes you to another world and how it makes you forget about everything else.
I liked your post it was good I liked how you said at the very end were music can take you to other worlds. And how you forget about everything else.
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ReplyDeleteIt was very great! it really explains how stressful life can be and music is a big escape! The only think i think you need to add is more so you can explain how music takes you to other worlds. That way the readers get more involved
ReplyDeleteI thought that it was really good, I liked the rhyming. But, I think you could have made it longer and more descriptive. Good writing though!
ReplyDeleteI liked how your poem rhymed and what life is like sometimes. All you need to do is make it more descriptive. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteI liked how your poem rhymed and what life is like sometimes. All you need to do is make it more descriptive. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteThis was really good. I liked how it rhymed. Just make it more descriptive. Good job.
ReplyDeleteGood poem! I liked the picture in my mind about how music makes the rest of the world disappear. I would just make it longer and explain more about the music taking your mind off of things. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteGood job! I liked how you explained how music does help you forget everything else. I would maybe just say a few more things about music helping you forget everything. But other than that good job!
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