April Post - Lucy DeLand
I listened to Edward Hirsch's “Cotton Candy”. I chose this poem because I really like cotton candy, so I was like "WOW!! This is perfect!" I liked this poem because it paints a picture in my mind. I also liked the words that he described things with!!
My Poem:
Gymnasts
The contests last for moments,
though the training has taken years.
It wasn't the winning alone that was
worth the work and the tears.
The applause will be forgotten,
the prize will be misplaced,
but the long hard hours of practice
will never be a waste.
In trying to win you build a skill,
you learn that winning depends on will.
You never grow by how much you win,
you only grow by how much you put in.
So any new challenge you have just begun,
put forth your best and you have already won.
Great job Lucy I could see this published in a book it is so good. If there was anything wrong with it it would be that some of the lines don't seem to match or that they have a different amount of syllybils. But great job,
ReplyDeleteLuke
Lucy that was excellent. It was very deep. Sometimes I don't understand poetry but you explained it perfectly. Other than what Luke said I didn't see any errors. You did a brilliant job and your poem is so true!! Wonderful job!!!
ReplyDeleteI thought your poem was amazing!! But, you could've used a little description on how it felt to win. Other than that, It was so good!!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you explained things but you maybe could have explained how it felt to win better but other than that it was a very good poem. :)
ReplyDeleteI love this because my basketball coach says a quote, "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard." This poem goes along with this. I liked the uplifting thought it put it my mind. If you were to extend this, maybe right about what a practice and competition are like, so the reader can really feel and picture it. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWow!!! You are a great poet!! You used big vocabulary and I really liked it. The only thing is some of the time the lines rhymed every other line and some rhymed every line. It sounds good but you could go with one method. SUPERRRRR good writing, keep it up.
ReplyDeleteNice job Lucy! I loved how you described everything. To me, you just gave the perfect description for all athletes. For mistakes, I agree with the six people before me. Other than that, awesome job!! Very well done!! ;)
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