Beep. Beep. Beep. I wake up to the tantalizing sound of my alarm clock. I dig myself out of the thick, warm covers and drag myself out of my comfortable bed. I head into the kitchen to make breakfast when I hear a knock on the front door. I look at it, confused at who could possibly be here at six-thirty in the morning. I trudge out of the kitchen and through the living room. I am halfway there when the knock comes again, more urgent this time.
"I'm coming, I'm coming." I say tiredly. I pull the door open and am immediately snapped awake as I stare at the crazy sight in front of me. It's my best friend Morgan, but she's not in her usual everyday clothes. She's dressed in full-body armor, the metal glinting in the rising sun. She's holding a deadly looking sword, another one hanging at her side.
"What the-"I start, but she cuts me off. "Listen. You have to come with me. I know this probably seems crazy but you have to come with me. Your families life depends on it."
Nothing made sense. "What are you doing? What are you wearing? Why do you have swords?" The questions tumbled out of me.
"I don't have time to explain. You just have to trust me." She said, panic filling her voice.
"Fine, but wha-" "Here," she said handing me a sword. I grunted at the weight.
From somewhere in her armor she pulled out a small crystal orb about the size of a tennis ball. Blue clouds of smoke churned in the center. Before I could react she turned around and threw the ball onto the concrete. It broke apart and a vortex-like portal appeared in the air. Electricity crackled around its edges. "Let's go." Morgan said.
Without another word she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the whirling gateway.
I really like this story. I liked how you described the morning of the girl and how everything happened within maybe five minutes. If there is another part to this I can't wait to read it.
ReplyDeleteNice Halli! I really liked your story. You described it really well, but I think you can do a little bit more. I like the vocab you used. I love how Morgan comes in with metal armor (I can totally imagine her with it on :) Like Kyler said, I'd love to read part 2 if there is one! Keep up the good work! :)
ReplyDeleteReally cool. That would be really weird to happen in real life (armor and sword part.) Great story, keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with all of the above, from the weird-in-real-life comment to your great descriptions; and, I'd like to read more too. Nice teaser for a longer story. Sounds like we've got a little time travel going on: which I love! Very well done--keep up the good work! As far as grammar: it's family's life. In this case family could remain as a singular unit. You are an excellent writer: keep it up!
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