Please Read Beginning so You aren't Confused
Because of Jazz’s shyness, Emerald would rarely have her friends over. She would complain many times about her sister being too quiet and that her best friends would think that Jazz was just being plain rude. Candy would shout at Emerald until I would step in and send the two to their sides of the burrow. After giving them the same lecture about being together for the rest of their lives and how they needed to get along, Jazz would run outside, hide behind a tree and cry until I called her inside.
Going on walks was one of the things I would push, but it was hard to even get going. I would wake them up just as the sun comes up and get them ready. Every time, Emerald would ask if her friends could join and every time I’d say no. Then Candy would ask where we would go and I’d have to explain that we were going to the center of the forest. Then Jazz would whimper because that’s where foxes would go and hang out, and then she’d ask if she could stay home. Of course I would tell her no, and then Candy would bounce in and ask if we could go to the meadows to see the mountains or if we could go to my mother’s fox hole. Then before I could answer Emerald would complain that she liked her friends so much and that she never had a chance to go on a walk with them, and before I could explain that this was a family type of thing, Candy would start to argue with Emerald by saying that she always hung out with her friends and that she needed a break. Then an argument would break out and Emerald would begin to shout, and Jazz would whimper in fear, and Candy’s claws would come out and the two would be rolling around on the floor clawing and scratching until I snapped at them and told them to come outside so that we could take our walk.
Our morning walks were usually happen at noon and weren’t pleasant. Whenever the two older girl’s eyes met, they would hiss and I would snap at them and Jazz would run off in fright. Then we’d have to spend an entire hour looking for her, and a half an hour coaxing her that it was safe to come out.
I really am liking this. Add more details as far as what the characters look like, what they smell and hear. Adding simile and metaphor would be a good choice too. I could see this being a middle-reader book, well done!
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