A couple of weeks ago we had a fun experience. As a whole choir we got into a bus and traveled to the Pineview High School. But we weren’t just performing there, we were competing there. The Supaf competition for the choirs of our age. We were all pretty stoked to be there.
We got to listen to a couple of choirs sing, and they were pretty good. But then they pulled us aside and took us back stage, and gave us a little bit of time to rehearse. So we sang our songs, and then waited for a couple of minutes. Then the people came back, and told us that they were ready to hear us sing. Then we all walked onto the stage.
We sang our 3 songs, and it seemed like all the others choirs liked us. After our songs the judge came up to talk to us. He started giving us all this advice, and even though some of it same seemed strange it also seemed helpful. The judge really liked our music, and he asked us to sing certain fragments of some songs again. Then we walked off the stage and we were done singing.
There were many good things about that experience. One of those was the fact that, we got to hang out with friends and leave school for a day. And another a cool thing was that we got a chance to show off how good of a choir we are. After the performance we got to go to a park and eat pizza which was also pretty fun as well.
I really liked it, I think you could use some bigger words though. Other than that you punctuation was great!! Keep up the great work!!
ReplyDeleteGreat job Matt! Next time, instead of starting your conclusion paragraph with the word "but", start it off with just "In conclusion"........Great job though!
ReplyDeleteGood job! I really liked all of the words that you used! The only thing that I would fix is maybe the last paragraph instead of saying "but" say "In conclusion", other than that it was really good!
ReplyDeleteNice Job! I really liked your description of how you got judged. To start off the last paragraph you said, "but in conclusion" but I don't really think that the "but" part was necessary, it could have just been "In conclusion". Other than that it was a very good story. Great Writing!
ReplyDeleteGreat job. I liked how you wrote about everything we did. I would fix the conclusion paragraph like the others said. Other than that good job. Nice!
ReplyDeleteGood writing Matt but the assignment this month is to do a creative piece: see directions http://2014robinshonorswritingblog.blogspot.com/2015/03/important-for-march-blog-post.html and repost. Let me know when you do:) Thanks!
ReplyDelete