Don’t Eat Me I’m A Lemon
Part 3
Out of nowhere pickles went flying everywhere. The entire cubic centimeter exploded with chairs eating each other and other things happening that I don’t really feel like explaining. The entire planet was turned into a fork and the other forks were turned into spoons. After the spoons were turned into sporks, everyone’s paper hats turned into black colored paper hats, and then those were turned into slightly darker black paper hats. Then that one person who didn't realize what was going on finally looked down and started floating upward for some reason instead of falling down. Apples. Faucets then started exploding with confetti and stuff coming out. After all the potatoes were done doing whatever they do when they aren't destroying the facility and the lemons were done burning down your house Mr. Eraser ate some waffles.
“Hey guys!” Mr. Eraser exclaimed. “I just found a copy of Don’t Eat Me I’m A Lemon.”
“Cool, so can you give it to me so I can figure out how to eat myself without not not not dying.” Meowed Mr. Kitty.
“I don’t exactly think that’s possible…”
“That basically saying that it isn't possible.”
“Wait a second, I think somethings different.” said Sharpstripe.
“What.”
“No, never mind, it’s probably a broken pixel or something.”
“You know what I just realized, it’s kind of funny, this is like the tenth time in a story that two of the main characters are guys, while the other one is a girl, except that one is a monopoly 10 eraser bill, and the other two are cats.”
“Yeah.”
Out of nowhere a cat with a pickle hat and a slightly darker black paper hat infused into one hat came by and was like, “I’m going to turn your language into something really cool and awesome!” And for a vhire arr ze vords vere ransformed ino somezing za if anyone read i zey vourd zink doing za vas a grea idea.
“Is za ze bad guy?” asked Mr. Eraser.
“Probabry.” repried Mr. Kiy.
“vha vas his name again?”
“I zink i vas _ _ _ _ _.”
“Oh.”
“Does he onry ge rike one rine in ze enire secion?”
“No, he ges zree, if you knov vha I mean.”
“Yep,” meoved _ _ _ _ _. “I ge rike zree rines.”
ze sar zey vere froaing nex o jus exproded ino a hypernova, and if you vere vondering vha his name is, zen vhy don’ you jus go and read DEMIAr par 2. ze kiens za vere frying everyvhere vere arr rike, “MEOv!”
“I don’ ge i, aren’ you supposed o be rike evir or somezing?” asked Mr. Eraser.
“Yep, vach zis…” This sentence is here just because I want it to be. “Ha ha, I made your language awesome, and then I took it away! Ha!”
“Nooooo! You can’t do that!” meowed Sharpstripe.
“Yeah he can, look it says it in the book.” said Mr. Kitty.
“Oh, okay.”
It was a pretty good story! There were many good things about it. I think it would be a little bit better if there was a little bit more narration in between the conversations, but other than that it was really good!
ReplyDeleteThese stories you write crack me up. Something I noticed:
ReplyDelete" “Cool, so can you give it to me so I can figure out how to eat myself without not not not dying.” Meowed Mr. Kitty. "
without not dying = With dying
without not not dying = without dying
without not not not dying = with dying
Did you mean for that or no?
I put exactly what I meant. :)
DeleteI like it, and i agree with Matt it could use a little more narration, but other than that it looks great!! Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteNice job Jaden you are a very good writer. I really liked how you explained everything in the beginning how everything was a disaster. I really liked the part when you said "Out of nowhere pickles wen't flying every were". The only thing that I think yo should change is explain what is happening at the beginning rather than just start with everything is crazy. Otherwise it is good.
ReplyDeleteNice job Jaden you are a very good writer. I really liked how you explained everything in the beginning how everything was a disaster. I really liked the part when you said "Out of nowhere pickles wen't flying every were". The only thing that I think yo should change is explain what is happening at the beginning rather than just start with everything is crazy. Otherwise it is good.
ReplyDeleteSeriously fun to read! I can tell that you are messing around with grammar and words for effect, well done! You can break the grammar rules when it's for a purpose and you know what you are doing. Really unique, make sure you continue to boost your writing with additional descriptions but excellent work!
ReplyDelete