Once upon a time there was a group of friends going up to their cabin. There was Annie, Jadyn, Lucy, Hallie and Bailee. They were having so much fun until they heard a noise. It sounded like a she wolf. They named this sound Shwolf.
When they heard the Shwolf, they screamed really loud and woke up the entire forest. They ran inside as fast as they could! They accidently left Bailee outside with the Shwolf. As soon as they realized they left her outside, they ran back to get her.
When they got outside she was rolled up in a ball of blankets. They were all scared so they went inside and told all their other friends what they heard and what had happened. The other kids didn’t believe them. They thought that they were just trying to frighten them. So, they went outside to prove that it was real.
All the girls went outside to search for Shwolf. When they got outside they heard nothing. So the girls thought it was a prank. They were all really mad at the other girls. They were about to go inside when all of the sudden they heard shwolf. Everyone was scared.
They slowly moved closer to where the sound was coming from. All the sudden a wolf/girl jumped out of the bush. They all screamed!! And then they realized that Shwolf was really nice and helped them find adventure. They all became really close friends. And everyone was happy. The End!
This was a good story but you could have maybe put a little more setting like saying what it looked like but other than that it was good.
ReplyDeleteI liked the rather Unique ending. I think the story could benefit from dialog.
ReplyDeleteWell done Annie, maybe next time add a little more setting like carrson said but other than that it is great!
ReplyDeleteIt was a good short story, but I think that you should add some more detail to some of the parts like at the end when you say they become good friends. And like Carson said you could add some more details to what the shwolf looked like. Overall I would say it's a good short story.
ReplyDeleteGreat Job Bobby!!!! I liked how it was simple but, I think it could have a little more detail like Ethan said and have the ending be more exciting but GREAT JOB BOBBY!
ReplyDeleteGood start Annie--I like the plot and where you are going with it. The ending is a nice twist. Your fellow writers offered really good advice above. Go back and add more detail and description, there is almost none and it's hard to picture what everything looks like. Dialogue would help too. Keep up the good work:)
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