My dad had finally found work. We made the big move to Vancouver just a few days ago. Being from California, all this snow is going to take some getting used to! My family said this move is for the “greater good”, but the way I see it? It just stinks. Canada is cold and boring. There is nothing to do here. I decided to go for a walk while my parents were dusting their antique basketball knick knacks (don’t ask) and the cold was literally unbearable. I could feel the cold in my bones as I walked down the street, even though I was wearing three shirts, two jackets and a scarf! I was lost in a freezing stupor when I met them. The kids were playing a game that looked familiar, but I’d never actually seen played. Hockey. I watched but couldn’t tell what was going on. I’m a basketball guy. I’ve never been interested in hockey. What I could piece together looked pretty straight forward to me. The kids were trying to hit a disk into the opposing goal with sticks, all while on ice skates. It only took a minute before they were colliding into each other and crashing to the ground trying to hit the puck. “Shouldn’t that be a foul?” I called out across the frozen lake. The game stopped. About four sets of eyes stared at me like I was on fire. Like I was dumb. Like I didn’t know the rules (I didn’t). All I knew was basketball, and in basketball, any one of those hits would get you disqualified for a season.
“Look, it’s the new kid. What’s his name? John?” one of the kids finally yelled out, putting an end to the awkward silence. “It’s James, not John,” I yelled back. And with that, they skated over to me...
bout but i kind of like it.... I like how you explained things great job, keep it up!!
ReplyDeleteReally cool story! It really tells about what it's like to move! Some periods were left out though. Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteHey you wrote about basketball like me (inside joke haha) but I really like your story! It had great description and detail. Maybe think of continuing the story for your next post so we can find out what happens! Great work!
ReplyDeleteI actually was planning to continue it for my next post!
DeleteIt was good and was descriptive.i think it might be better if you add more description to some parts. Overall it was good.
ReplyDeleteNice! I like the narrative and where the story good go. Very solid start to a longer piece. You have such great voice when you write--it sounds very believable. As you revise, add more description so the reader can "see" more of what is happening. I'd love for you to continue this! Excellent writing:)
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