Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Second Part to My Story

I gently pick up the bright rose and quickly climb down the ladder. I gently walk to the bright blue bean bag chair and sit down. I put the rose down on the white carpet next to me and I exchange it for a book. As I skip through the pages, I can smell the pages and I can feel the wind on my face. I take my bookmark out at the page I left it on, and I start to read. After about an hour, I look down and to my surprise, The rose wasn’t there anymore! Look to the other side of my room and I see a shadow climb up the ladder. I throw my book to the ground and leap up to my feet. I climb up the ladder and as I get to the top, I see the doors again! I must be dreaming again. I raise my arm up and pinch it to see if it was real. I felt it. I’m not dreaming..
I quickly turned to look to the door on the left and at that moment, the door closed. I looked at the frame and noticed that something was different. The frame looked like it was just painted. My eyes started to shift to the walls. They had been painted to this dark red color. There was no longer wallpaper and this mysterious room no longer looked old. I look back at the door on the left and walk over to it. I reach for the handle and start to open the door. I saw myself, but not in the present. I see myself in the past playing with my puppy. She was a chihuahua and her name was candy. She had a thick coat of tan fur. All I saw was my 5 year old self playing with candy.
I looked to my right and I saw a dark shadow figure holding the red rose that  had lost. I was frozen with fear and I couldn’t move. The figure started to turn into a little boy. He had short blonde hair, and on his face he had cute little freckles. He was wearing a light blue polo shirt that was tucked into his blue wash jeans. “Who are you?” my voice cracked as I talked. “My name is Nick. What is your name?” he asked in a high pitch voice that sounded like almost any little boy. “Umm my name is Kaylin, why am I here and why do you have my rose?” I said starting to get more comfortable. “First of all, This isn’t your rose. It belongs to my mom, and second of all, You are here to remember your dog.” He said. “Ok you can keep the rose” I said. “But i'm still confused. why do I have to remember my dog? She died 6 years ago.” I said in almost a whisper voice. “Because candy was your best friend and you can’t forget your best friend.” he said.” You can leave now.” he said as he snapped his fingers.

Everything went black for a second, then I noticed that I was back in the room with all the doors. I started to remember more about how close me and candy were. I climbed down the ladder and sat back in my chair. “At Least that wasn’t another dream.” I thought to myself.

2 comments:

  1. That was really great! I think it was a really cool story and I loved it! I noticed a few errors here and there and I think it would add more to your story if you used different adjectives. Great job!

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  2. Creepy! I like it a lot--you could really take this idea pretty far. Good advice from Hallie to switch up adjectives. Also, when you use more than one adjective to describe, use a hyphen. For example: blue-wash or light-blue polo shirt. It's a small thing but when you send your work to editors, they will tell you. I'd love to see more of this and find out what is really happening to your character:)

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