The World Would be a Better Place if Everyone Could Give a Bit of Kindness
By: Sierra Renstrom
Kindness is one simple thing
Many people can do it like you and me
Kindness goes a long way
Each and everyday
Give someone a smile
And it might go a mile
Kindness can save someone's day
It's not very hard in any way
Kindness is helping someone in need
And by showing there lead
This one little action
Will take bulling away like subtraction
Kindness doesn't mean to be rude
Just ask someone a question in a good mood
Kindness will brighten your day
And you don't need to pay
If everyone could be this
Our world would have a different twist
WOW!! I was swept off my feet at that post! The rhyming was very impressive and it really pulled me into it. What would happen if you maybe take away the very in the second paragraph and change it to that? I felt very persuaded to try to be more kind! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteNice work on the rhyming. Show me your entry for Reflections so I can give you credit for the contest:) My advice as you revise is to check the cadence--the rhythm of the rhyme. When rhyming every line, each line should sound the same--have the same beat. Think of it as a piece of music. You may need to add or subtract a couple of words from each line to get the rhythm right. I'm excited to see a finished draft:)
ReplyDeleteI love it Sierra it is very beautiful and descriptive. I agree with Rebekah there are just very few adjustments but other than that great job!!
ReplyDelete