Where Am I?
I woke up in a mysterious jungle feeling quite confused, it was
very sunny and cloudy. The jungle was beautiful and bright green, there
were a lot of living things there. For example, there were tree frogs,
snakes, silver back gorillas, and even dangerous dragons. The thing is,
is that I didn't know if it was dangerous or not.Then, I started checking the place out to see if it was okay or not. It turned out that the forest was dangerous. I ran into a big, harry, mean silver back gorilla. After that he nudged me off a thousand foot cliff. Surprisingly I survived, because the sand at the bottom caught me. I know you're thinking sand can't catch me from a thousand foot drop? At that moment, when I was falling I thought that I was going to die.
I must have hit my head really hard, because then I was in a dry desert. There was nothing there but sand and camels. It was so hot and humid. I looked up at the cliff and I didn't see anything. So I jumped on a camel and said go, but then something really weird happened, the camel spoke. It startled me so much that I was laughing. You usually don't laugh when you are startled, but I guess I did. So we went on and on talking about random stuff, in fact I even think I told him about my gorilla incident.
So we went on and on until, we got to this huge sand castle made out of moist sand. Obviously we went inside, then we sat down, "This doesn't feel right," I exclaimed. "You're right," said Barkley the camel. "It's the smell, but not just that it feels like someone is in here," I muttered. "Again you're right," said Barkley. So we checked the place out. Then we found a disco room with "Just Dance 4" in it. We played on that for a while until someone shouted, "Hey, what are you doing in here?" We didn't know what to say but then we told him that we were lost. I introduced myself and my talking camel named Barkley! The guys name was Jay and he was a professional sand castle builder. (I thought that was pretty obvious because he was so good at it!) After that he said he was upstairs getting ready for a party at his friends sand castle right next door. (It didn't cross my mind that the huge castle was actually two big castles.)
After he was finished getting ready he invited us to the party. I asked him is that would be okay with the owner and he said "Of course!" We headed over there and when we opened the doors I was thinking the party was going to have bright lights and loud pop music, but boy was I wrong! It was a sand castle building party! (What the heck!!!) When we walked in I asked him where the bathroom was and he said upstairs. So Barkley and I went up the long stairs that just seemed like they would never stop!
Suddenly, I heard this really annoying, "Beep, beep." My alarm clock woke me up. I was shocked that it was my dream, it felt so realistic! Then I told my mom what happened and she said that I was crazy, and she didn't know what I was talking about. So I explained again. She said that she had heard enough, and that I had lost my mind. I said she was probably right, so much for that!
Finally, I told my dad, and he understood, but why didn't my mom understand? I just think my dad's a dreamer? I have always wanted my mom to be a dreamer. I think she takes it after her mom and dad. I am not going to let her take my dream away, literally. Anyway, I went and told my brothers, and after I told them they said that they wish they had marvelous dreams like that.
All as I know is that it was a dream, thank goodness. Lets all hope no one gets stranded in a desert, or a jungle like I did. My dad said he once had a dream like that. He didn't have the same dream as me but it was close. He had a hilarious dream. That would be impossible, and crazy if he had the same dream as me. I think I am a dreamer just like my dad.
Great job Lucy! I loved the words you used to describe it. While I was reading it I caught a few spelling errors, like "harry" is supposed to be spelled "hairy". Other than that it was amazing.
ReplyDeleteGood job, Lucy. Your story is so interesting. I saw one error in the second to last paragraph. There should be an apostrophe in the word let's. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteGreat job, good improvements. As you revise, work on creating an emotion--beyond what you could see, what you could hear, smell, touch and feel. Keep working on this:)
ReplyDeleteI liked how it started, that she just woke up. But I thought that the overall story moved to fast. If you could slow it down and add some more description, it would be an amazing story.
ReplyDelete