Lucy DeLand
Period 2
November 7, 2014
Dear Scotland,
Do you believe in the “Loch Ness Monster”? Because I know I certainly don’t. You shouldn’t keep searching for the “Loch Ness Monster” because you have been looking for years now and you haven’t found ANY evidence, whatsoever. All of the pictures you have gotten are fake and blurry, the only thing you have actually had evidence from is people saying they saw it. (They could be lying.) You have done scans and haven’t found anything moving in Loch Ness.
We have done many scans and have not found anything yet, what makes you think that we are going to find it now? Another thing is, is that Nessie wouldn’t have anything to eat because Loch Ness is too cold to have animals live and for plants to grow. People may say that they saw Nessie, but really they may have just saw a log or something. Other people say they saw it and have pictures but they are wrong because they may have just photoshopped it. This is why you should stop looking for him, he is a myth.
Sincerely,
Lucy DeLand
Good job! It's good that you provide lots of persuasive evidence. One thing I would suggest is to make it three paragraphs instead of two. 1: It makes the essay look cleaner (in my opinion anyway). 2: It provides a beginning - middle - end instead of a beginning - middlend. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteNice job Lucy! The only thing I suggest is to add a little more detail. You have a lot of great persuasive evidence, maybe add a little more "meat" to it. :) Other than that, great job!!
ReplyDeleteGreat Job! I liked the wording you used and the questions in your letter. But if I were you, I would put some more evidence in there that is backed up by concrete facts, instead of evidence that is backed up by "probably" or "could be". Like this sentence, "All of the pictures you have gotten are fake and blurry, the only thing you have actually had evidence from is people saying they saw it. (They could be lying.)" Otherwise, good job.
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