Do you Believe?
Ryan Bethers
Dear Scotland,
Do you think that the beast of Loch Ness is real, or even worth searching for? I think that there could be a possibility that there could a unknown creature living in the Loch Ness. I have three reasons why I think that you should keep searching, first many times people have said that they have supposedly seen it, second this could be a huge discovery to find an unknown water creature, third It’s possible that some dinosaurs could have possibly survived.
First, many times people have said that they have supposedly seen it. There has been numerous witnesses that say that they have encountered the creature, and other people say that they have seen it. Plus people have gotten a little bit of evidence, such as pictures. Though most of the pictures are blurry and look unreal, though overall it could be possible.
Second, this could be a huge discovery to find an unknown water creature. It would be completely mind blowing if scientist kept looking and found the creature, it would be a huge discovery for everyone. It would change the way people thought about history,it would make people think more about the dinosaurs and change legends into facts, and you would look at the dinosaurs differently and think that possibly others could have survived.
Third, It’s possible that some dinosaurs could have somehow survived. Some dinosaurs could have not gone extinct, because when there is a disaster or extinction someone or something is likely to survive. Also sharks are known to be dinosaurs and they never went extinct. Why couldn’t another dinosaur that lives in the water survive too?
I think that Scotland should keep searching for The Loch Ness monster, because once again, many times people have said that they have see it, and It could be a huge discovery, and It’s possible that some dinosaurs could have survived. Though its a lot easier to keep trying to prove that something is real rather than to try and prove that it’s not real. I hope that Scotland will keep searching for The Loch Ness monster and hopefully find it one day.
From: Ryan Bethers
I think your essay is really good, but remember what Mrs. Robins said a few weeks ago that you shouldn't us the word "I" in argumentative writing to keep your opinion out of it. Other than that it's great.
ReplyDeleteGreat essay ryan but I agree with brinley and you shouldn't use I in it so much. Other then that it is great!
ReplyDeleteReally good. I agree with the other two, try and keep the word "I" out of it. Other than that, it is an amazing essay!
ReplyDeleteGood reviews from your classmates:) Yep, don't use "I" in argumentation. Other than that, great writing! You defended your claim well with evidence from the texts--well done!
ReplyDeleteI just looked at the title and knew that it was going to be a good story. It was really convincing. I do think the "I" was overused. I didn't need to be there. Just state opinions as facts (it makes you sound smarter and more convincing). Other then that, really liked it.
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