Taking Time to Remember- Revised
By: Sophie Chandler
Remembering is taking the time to realize what happened in the past.
I remember the time I spent with my wonderful family last.
Thinking of good and great times gone by.
I remember these things that cause me great joy.
I remember a time this year when we had our reunion.
My relatives, family, and I were all joined in pure union.
We all reveled in each others company
as we felt each others sincere love in assembly.
I remember a time when Christmas was near.
I loved the feeling of love, happiness, and cheer.
We all exchanged gifts all so brightly colored.
I new that our family's true love had been discovered.
Family is what keeps us remembering
the great memories that just keep on happening.
Good job, Sophie. Your poem is very well written. You could maybe be more specific in the second line and make it a little bit shorter. Other than that it was perfect to me.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job! You're an amazing writer. All I think you could do is fix "new" I think you forgot the "k". Unless I'm wrong. Also, make the lines a little bit shorter, I think it would be even better if you did that. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThat was an amazing poem. It had good rhythm and the words went together nicely. Just do what the others said and it will be even amazinger!! (I don't think that's a word :)
ReplyDeleteGreat job, I love poetry! One thing, add more! I would like to hear about more memories and fun things. But other than that it was amazing!
ReplyDeleteGreat poetry--I like your rhymes, especially the slant rhymes because they sound really cool. My only suggestion would be to increase the length to ad detail to the events you described:).
ReplyDelete