Monday, November 17, 2014

The LochNess Monster - Brinley Sullivan

Dear Scotland,

Have you ever heard of Nessie the Loch Ness Monster? Did you ever consider it to be real? Researchers are trying to say that it doesn’t exist, but what about the giant squid they thought was a Kraken? We should continue to search for the Loch Ness Monster because tons of people have claimed to have seen it and they can’t all be fibbing, we definitely have the technology to find it so there’s no point in just ignoring it, and if other creatures exist, why shouldn’t this one be proven too.
In 1933, the Mackays drove past the Loch Ness lake and saw the monster for the first time. According to “The Beast of Loch Ness” Written by: Lauren Tarshis it says,”In the eight decades since the Mackays took their fateful drive, more than 1,000 people have claimed to have seen some kind of creature in the water or on the shores of the loch.” A few of them could have been lying, but not all of them. Over 1,00 people is quite a lot. Some people, like Robert Rines an American Loch Ness investigator, have dedicated their life to finding such creatures.
Lots of other creatures have been found that people were made up, so why shouldn’t we find Nessie? In the article “The Beast of Loch Ness”, it says,”In 1873, a fisherman and his son spotted one in the waters off Newfoundland, Canada. They managed to cut off a 19-foot piece of tentacle.” They were referring to the Kraken, which later we found was just a giant squid. Also, others found a meat eating lizard and later discovered the Komodo Dragon. Maybe thats where we got the mythical creature that breathes fire and flies, but maybe not. Nessie deserves at least to be looked for, for the sake of the people of Scotland.
Last of all, we have all the technology to find such a creature in the loch, so why not, right. It’s just a waist of technology if we don’t put it to some use. “The Beast of Loch Ness” states,”We have the tools of modern science. Satellites allow us to explore the surface of the entire planet, while high-tech telescopes are helping us probe the far corners of our galaxy.” There is no reason not to prove that Nessie does or doesn’t exist. It won’t even take that long to figure it out. Now, others might say that searching for the Loch Ness Monster is a waste of time, but as you can see from the reasons above, we should.
In conclusion, we should continue the search for Nessie because more than 1,000 people have seen it, and they can’t all be lying. Also, if other creatures like giant squid and komodo dragons have been discovered, why shouldn’t we find Nessie. Lastly, if we have to technology to find it, we should. That is why we should continue the search for Nessie the Loch Ness Monster.

Yours Truly,
Brinley Sullivan

3 comments:

  1. That was amazing! You are a very talented writer. I loved how you used evidence from the articles. I caught a few errors so maybe just do a quick check but it was really good. Great job!!!

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  2. Nice job Brinley! I really liked your essay. I also caught a few punctuation errors, but other than that you did a really nice job!! You almost convinced me your side was better and right, but not quite. ;) Keep up the good work!!

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  3. Excellent claim statement and evidence. As you revise, try to have the order of items in your claim match the order of your paragraphs. Good work:)

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