A broken window,
a crooked chair,
a half-written book,
a dust-topped camera,
so many imperfections.
A wrinkled page,
a ripped poster,
a broken lock,
a shattered picture.
So many imperfections, but the only thing that matters
are the stories behind them.
I loved the idea of this poem... I thought it was great but I think you could have made it a little bit longer. Again, i really loved it and keep up the great work :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Baylee! I'll work on making it longer. I didn't want to get lost in rhyming so I didn't do any rhyming. I was thinking of a haunted house when I wrote it haha. Thanks Baylee!
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ReplyDeleteI loved it! Great job! But one thing that i would fix is maybe you could add just a little bit more detail and It would be fantastic! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteJust reading that gave me the chills. I loved how creepy it sounded. I only ask for it to be longer, and maybe have it rhyme. It was awesome!
ReplyDeleteI think you did an amazing job. I really liked how you stated a bunch of imperfections and I don't think that I could have thought up of those. I liked how you said it doesn't matter at the end but the story behind it. All I think you could do is maybe add some rhymes and make it longer. I really enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteI liked this as well but I'd expand to tell some of those stories. I wouldn't put in rhyme because the imagery carries well. It's a really unique idea that is worth exploring. Also, try not to start a sentence with an article, like "a", break-it-up a tad. Excellent poem though. After revision, you should send this one in to the Chaparral Poetry Contest.
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