No More P.E.
You're in schools and you have to go to P.E. You hate that class then you end up in that class hating it. P.E. should not be aloud in school. People are not fit enough to do P.E. and they might get laughed at. P.E. should not be able to be in schools.
Kids are not as healthy and maybe they will get embarrassed. They will be sad and they would want to get out of that class. Kids are embarrassed easily and they would not be able to go back to school because they would be sad and depressed.
People are not in shape and they would get laughed at and they would be sad. people would make fun of them and would get mean to them. P.E. should be removed
from schools and out of the country. Kids are not in shape and they would get laughed
at.
P.E. should get removed from the schools across america. People would get
laughed at because they are fat. They would not be able to do anything because they
have health problems. kids are going to get laughed at. Maybe even they could even
think of suicide. P.E. should be taken from schools.
Nice job. I think it is a good argument. I thought that it looked a little strange and there are a few spelling and grammar errors. Keep up the nice job.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was a really good story. There were a few gaps in between the sentences, and a few capitalization errors, but it was really good.
ReplyDeleteGreat job! It was really good other than you kept saying the same things over again, and there were also gaps between sentences. But keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteGood writing! But in the first paragraph, Instead of making it 2 different sentences, say, " P.E. should not be allowed in schools because..." but other than that good job!
ReplyDeleteIt is great!!! The format is a little weird. Some grammar and spelling errors. but other than that it is good.
ReplyDeletegood job. a few grammer errors and wierd formatting but good job
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ReplyDeleteYeah, the formatting was weird and kind of threw me off. Interesting subject. Even as an opinion piece, you've got to have some type of anchoring thesis statement and be careful not to introduce new things at the very end:) Good start, but needs some work.
ReplyDeleteGreat start!!!! But I think you could add a lot more to it. Use some different words for the same meaning. And also the "P" in people should be capitalized. Great work, and keep it up!!
ReplyDeleteNice job Carrson, you are a very good writer. I really liked your opinion of no more P.E. I liked when you said that "some kids that are not as healthy could get laughed at and feel embarrassed". The only thing that you should change is probably say more reasons than "they will get laughed at". It is really good but I must disagree because I really like P.E., but it's a good essay.
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