He is the Bird
I saw him
I was in the woods and I saw him
I started to run towards him
But then all I see is a bird
I searched and searched for him
I needed him
I needed his advice
I needed my grandpa
I remember the day he died
I cried and cried out for him
I hoped he would come back for me
I hoped we would listen to the birds together again
We would take walks in the woods
We once found a woodpecker
I remember him saying,
“The birds will make the best of friends, because they are the ones who listen the most.”
Now whenever I see a bird I think of him
I have found out that the birds really do listen
Sometimes I think maybe he is listening too
Maybe my grandpa are using the birds as a way to still talk to me
I listen to the birds sweet songs
I fill with joy just listening to them
I always listen for them
Just as I had with my grandfather
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ReplyDeleteAwesome job Em!
ReplyDeleteI really like how you made some things rhyme with using obvious words. Also you made some of the stanzas not rhyme, which I think is really hard to do...:) The only thing I would suggest is to change "my grandpa" to my grandfather in the 2nd stanza. That way it matches my grandfather in the last stanza. Also, maybe switch his advice and my grandpa in the 2nd stanza. Wow, that was long. Keep up the great work!!
First of all, you almost made me cry!!! Seriously Em, seriously. I thought that this was awesome!!! I do agree with Audrey though about the "grandfather" thing though in the 2nd stanza, I don't know what else but that caught my eye. Other than that keep up the GREAT work Em!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is fabulous Emily! I loved how you didn't make all of the stanzas rhyme. It has more 'texture' I guess is how I'd put it. I agree with Audrey and Lucy though, about the grandfather thing. Also, you could try not using "I" so much in the first, second, and third stanzas, even though it seems like it'd be pretty hard. But I think you could do it! You should submit this to the Chapparal Poetry Contest! If you haven't already. Great job, Emily!
ReplyDelete